A God Story

Since I disappeared for the month of January, I missed getting to tell you that my dad moved to Rwanda early in the month.  He's been a professor of electrical engineering at Carnegie Mellon University for many years and was asked to direct a new master's program that CMU is opening in Rwanda.  You can read more about it here.  He and my mom will live there for the next one and a half to two years.  (My mom stuck around here to meet baby Katherine and help us after her arrival; she leaves to be with my dad on March 1.  I'm so happy for them and so sad for us.)

One of my father's colleagues is a young woman my age named Crystal.  They discovered a while ago that her father was at University of Illinois doing graduate work the same time as my dad WAY back in the late 70s.  :)  The families didn't know each other.  Since then, though, my folks have met Crystal's, who now live in Kigali, Rwanda's capital city, and my father has been attending their church there.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom made a discovery.

She's been furiously going through all of the closets, cupboards, and rooms of their house, preparing it for the tenants who will live there while my folks are gone.  There is a LOT of stuff in my parent's house; we'll pretend that it has nothing to do with tons of junk that my siblings and I still store there ...  a-hem.

The Rwandan Flag

But, back to the story.

One evening she'd spent quite a while going through photos that had been haphazardly tossed in boxes at some point.  She was on the last box and ready to just pitch it, but felt something telling her she should persevere and finish.  As she got toward the end of the box, she found a few photos from the day I was dedicated at their church in Champaign, IL.  As she looked at the picture she could hardly believe it: there were two African families in the photo and one couple looked very much like what she imagined Crystal's parents might have looked like 30 years ago.  She asked herself, Could it be?  Could Crystal and Heather have been dedicated on the same day almost 33 years ago?!

Contact with Crystal's mother seemed to confirm that yes, it was them.  For final proof, my mom checked my baby book and found this bulletin clipping:

When my dad wrapped up one of  his bi-weekly letters to family with this story, he concluded:

As I wrote to Anne (Crystal's mom), "if something like this were in a novel or movie, it would be dismissed as simply being too unrealistic."  I’ll close here for this time. 

Can’t come up with anything more to top that.

We can't come up with stories to top the work of our Sovereign God, can we?!

In his heart a man plans his course,

but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

I'm left wondering what God has in store for my parents as they begin this new adventure.  I'll keep you posted.

We're Home!

Yesterday Katherine was released from the hospital!

The kids are totally smitten with her, especially her big brother.

Today we're taking it easy, as we will for the next several weeks.  Katherine had a good visit at the pediatrician's and with the formula supplements at the hospital is still almost her birth weight.  Little piggy.  We've also had visits from a couple of friends, as well as having mom here this morning to take care of all of us ... and give me a nap.  After a somewhat rough night, it's been a good day!  I'm pretty smitten with our little girl, too.  :)

How Deep?

I heard this song this morning on Pandora; it's been a while since I've heard it.  I think we sang it fairly regularly at our church in Cambridge.  But anyway, what a beautiful reminder of the gospel on this Sunday morning!  A couple of weeks ago, our pastor preached on John 3:16 and challenged us to consider seriously  what it means that

God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

He spoke of the depth of our depravity and need to be rescued from sin & God's wrath (and that God made it possible!), but how we often take that salvation so lightly because we just want some little aspect of our life to be nicer, more comfortable, less difficult.  Oh the glory of the salvation offered in Christ!  This song declares it so well.  Listen to the song and may the Spirit fill you with joy in your inmost being with the truth that God has saved you, given you new life, and gone to great lengths to call you His own!

  How Deep the Father's Love for Us

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that left Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

(REPEAT)

We're Not Home Yet

We had a little blip on the screen, our little Katherine came down with a fever on Wednesday night, so she had to be admitted to the NICU for observation and antibiotics.  Since then, the fever has come down and she's doing fine as far as everyone can tell.  The staff of the hospital has been great!  They have made room for me and several other moms to stay in the maternity ward while our babies are in the NICU.  It's been good to be close to Katherine.  The NICU nurses are just so sweet, caring for all of these little ones - and they've been busy the last couple of days!

Yesterday the doctor said it's unlikely we'll get home today (which was really discouraging news to me) but should be able to take her home on Sunday.  I've been tempted to get down, but really there's so many ways God has provided for us, for Katherine, for our whole family ... combating complaining with thanksgiving, and finding it to be a great remedy!  That said, I will be so glad to get home, be outside of the hospital, hang out Elizabeth and Brian, and settle into life as a family of five.

Anyway, here are some photos.  You gotta give the people what they want!  (Colin has a bunch of good ones from his camera too; I'll get those up when we're home.  I don't have any pictures of the grandparents on my memory card!)

Visits from family and friends

And  little fun mixed in!

She's Here!

Katherine Hope joined our family last night around 11pm!

She weighed in at 9lbs 4oz and measured 21 inches.

She's doing great and we're all so excited to have her to hold in our arms!

The proud older siblings.

And then there were five ...

Snow!

This picture sums up what the "winter" has been like this year.

Nature has been very confused.

To all of our delight, the snow came Friday into Saturday, so dad was home to play in the snow with us.

To our dismay, it was not snowman snow.  So after a little snowball throwing in the back yard, we took a walk in the neighborhood and to our local park.  Going down slides in snowpants into piles of snow is so fun!  (I didn't have the camera with me, so you'll have to imagine how awesome it was for the kids.)

I hope that you are able to enjoy some good Sabbath rest today,

rest that restores you, mind, body, and soul!

What Kind of Mom Are You?

Here's a question for you, moms out there:

How many times this week have you compared yourself to another mother and found you come up lacking?

I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I do this after:

• seeing other children following their mother perfectly through the grocery store;
• reading a blog post about the cool crafts or activities another mom has done with her kids;
• hearing from another mom about how her kids are excelling at this or that; or
• learning how much more another mom seems to be able to accomplish.

Another question:

How may times this week have you judged another mother by some personal standard, just to make yourself feel better?

Uh, yeah, that question makes me really uncomfortable too ...

There is yucky stuff going on in our hearts, isn't there?  We're trying to puff ourselves up by being "better" than the next gal.  Or we're hoping no one notices just how inadequate we are; praying that somehow our kids turn out okay!  Either way, our pride keeps us focused on ourselves.

The place to begin to tackle this problem is with Jesus, at the foot of the cross, confessing the depth of our pride and self-love, the lack of our humility and love for God or others.  If we start there, we find hope for transformation, because Jesus forgives our sin, His mercies are new every morning, our shackles are loosed, and freedom to pursue righteousness is found.  (For the record, spending time at the foot of the cross is a regular routine for the Christian; daily we need to repent and believe the good news.  Our deceitful hearts are kept in check in that place.)

*     *     *

If you're looking for some ideas on what to ask God to do in your heart to replace the pride, jealousy, self-love, judgmentalism, etc. that can plague you as a mom, allow me to offer three:

Let Go of Who You THINK You Should Be

With the variety of wonderful resources available to us today, we have access to an amazing array of ideas for good parenting, great outings, fun crafts, cozy at-home activities, and so on.  But it IS possible to have too much of  a good thing.  We can start to drown in all of the "I shoulds": I should do this.  I should stop doing that.  I should start this routine.  I should be more like ... .  Are you familiar with this paralyzing thought process?

Ask God to help you let go of who you THINK you should be.

That leads into my next thought.

Embrace Who You ARE

This needs to happen on two levels: your identity in Christ and the unique way that God created you to be you.  On the first point, if you are a believer the Bible says that you belong to God, your life is hidden with Christ in Him, He made you, redeemed you, adores you for YOU - without comparing you to others to see how you measure up.  I need help to embrace this reality daily.  It is reality for the daughter (or son!) of God, all of His amazing grace!

Secondly, God knit you together on purpose and with purpose.  You have a unique history, personality, education, and set of gifts & talents.  God placed you in a family and gave you (again, on purpose and with purpose) your children.  Your family needs you to be YOU for them.  Your husband doesn't want you to be Jane from down the street or Donna from down the pew; he proposed to you, [insert your name here.]  And your kids don't need you to be Jane or Donna either.  How much energy do we waste trying to be something we're not?  That's energy we could put into being who we actually are and are growing to be!

Ask God to remind you daily that you are his precious daughter, 

created with purpose, intentionally given the family that you have.

Ask Him to help you let go of false ideals of yourself and too embrace who YOU are with joy and gratitude.

This leads to my final thought.

Delight in Who Others Are

Growing security in our identity in Christ and how God created us as an individual, brings us to a place where we can honestly and sincerely delight in others!  With our focus removed from trying to measure up and placed on honoring God with and because of what He's given us, we can find joy in hearing of other's accomplishments; we can learn from those we previously viewed as "the competition"; we can have deeper and richer relationships.  And (I think this is the coolest thing) the church is edified and grows up more into Christ.  We're all different parts of one body, and the body needs all the different parts!  Christ is glorified when His people dwell together in unity.

Ask God to forgive you for so often putting yourself before others.

Ask Him to work in you a heart that loves Him and loves your neighbor more each day.

*     *     *

These are all areas of continuing growth for me.  Shaking off my pride and fear requires the strength of the Gospel, the miracle of saving grace.  Isn't it beautiful that God then starts to replace our self-love with love for Him and others?  As the song goes: What a mighty God we serve!

So, here's a final question, one I've been asking myself over the last few weeks:

What kind of mom are you?

Because of the truth of the Gospel, let go of comparing yourself and be YOU for your children and your family.  Please, still read cool articles & books and steal good ideas from other moms (there are so many creative people out there!)  But don't try to BE anyone but YOU.  Create a culture in your home that is uniquely yours and ENJOY it, even and especially because it's not like another's.